What about this?

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How does the text look when inserted below the panels? Bad/good? I added a mini-panel because the transition from the wide pangea shot without our girl straight to a shot of her head in front of a very similar looking panel #2 looks a little odd — as if she appeared out of thin air. The mini panel just breaks up panel #1 and #3 (or #2 depending on which version of page one you’re looking at). Panel 3 is not complete — the barely visible white outline to the left of the character is the Island without any color. Panel 4 is being drawn now.

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~ by mandrizzle on May 18, 2009.

3 Responses to “What about this?”

  1. I think this could work. I like the use of the smaller panel. The only thing I worry about would be consistency in the narration dialog placement. I’m wondering how the current technique will work when there are two characters talking. I also gotta change the actual dialog in panel three as my overuse of personal pronouns is bugging me out. I’ll get cracking on that.

  2. I didn’t notice overuse until you said something and I had to go back and count them. Haha. Oh the inner critic (demon). ­čÖé

    As for bottom-mounted text (I coined that phrase), I thought maybe we could just use it for her during just this sequence where she speaks to herself. After she that we could switch to speech and thought bubbles or panels or parallelograms? Lemme know as it won’t be hard to insert the text into the panel.

  3. I say we carry on as is and see how it plays on the grand scale of progress. (cause it looks good now) or ya know, like, run the cat up the pole and see if the bear drives car! Steady as she goes! ENGAGE.

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